This was taken on the day our new nephew, Ethan was born. The mom’s sister took it and she is wicked talented! Love it!

Untitled from Amanda Winesett on Vimeo.

You would think that after ten months, I would be totally over my inability to breastfeed. Guess what? Not so much. I see new moms in the family doing it and it breaks my heart in an almost unimaginable way. I feel like I missed out on so much because of that. I feel like I’m not complete. I really thought that I would get over it, but it just has not happened. There’s a hole in my heart that I never expected to have to deal with. I know that other people have worse problems than this, and I don’t want to be known as a complainer, but it is so disappointing. Well, thanks for attending my pity party. I’ll be fine.

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The other day, when my buddy Marianne and I were “run/walking” we were talking about our early college days. Yes, I’ve been in college so long I can qualify my time into categories. Anyway, we talked about what it was like to live on campus and how, there was one girl who was 26 and how incredibly old that had seemed to us at the time. Now… we’re 24 and 25 respectively. Good Lord… what I wouldn’t give to live on campus again and not have to cook or drive anywhere, and only worry about having to clean one small room. Ha!

So, Sophia has begun to say “uh-oh!” If you say it to here, she goes, “uh! uh!” its terribly cute. She has almost six teeth now, two of which I didn’t even notice when they came through, which is funny because I’m constantly trying to see what’s in her mouth. Right now we are watching a penguin drive a train full of ice cream to South America. Children’s shows are so incredibly weird!

School started on Monday. And I must say: it sucks. It’s an accelerated class which means there are two semesters of information in six weeks. I go Monday through Thursday from six to ten. My professor talks about stuff that won’t be on the exam and you know what? If it isn’t on the exam, don’t waste my time! At least the teacher’s assistant is a riot, that’s a plus.

So, Nathan is out of town until Wednesday and I am here taking care of Sophia by myself. And, despite what some people think, (mainly me!) I can take care of my kid all by my lonesome. It just takes some… creative thinking. She definitely misses her daddy, I don’t think she realized he was gone until we got to bath time. She gave me the, “you… are NOT daddy” face. Unpleasant. Oh well.

I try not to be a snob about my “hippie habits” but today, when I was at Target, the woman ahead of me asked the cashier to double bag all of her purchases. Why? Are you afraid the hulking weight of your loaf of bread is going to rip through the cheap plastic and make a death leap to the hot parking lot? I don’t understand it sometimes. Of course, being the eco crusader I am, I used my reusable  shopping bags. I know, I know, I could have made them myself for cheaper. But, you know what? Dun wanna. Tomorrow Sophia and I will visit brand new cousin Ethan and she will (maybe) nap while I speed type a seven page paper due Wednesday. Whatev. I’ve got time! It’s only on the psychoanalytic implications of Kafka’s The Metamorphosis. It’s totally a piece of cake.

Right.

The reason that the last four posts have been deleted is because my wordpress account was broken into and porn links were being placed inside my posts and I couldn’t remove them. Honestly, this makes me want to give up on a.) blogging, and b.) people

Today I overheard a woman telling her kids not to color outside of the lines. That “it’s only pretty when you color inside the lines.” I’m not sure why, but something inside of me really clicked when she said that. Why would you say that to a child? In fact, one of them was  young enough to not really have the motor skills to color inside the lines anyway. I hope I never become the kind of parent that demands that level of perfection from a very young child. I hope I can continue to let Sophie grow and help her to blossom into herself. My mom never made me color inside the lines.

Thanks, Mom!

p.s - Sophie is sick so, if you get a minute, please pray for her. This is the first time she has actually been sick. So, we are very lucky, but I feel terrible because there is nothing I can do for her.

Today is my dear sweet husband’s birthday. This is just my public announcement of how much I love him.

I’ve Been Tagged!

I was tagged by Sarah.

Donuts or bagels? Bagels, actually.

Noodles or Rice? Noodles.

Soup or salad? Salad.

Purse or shoes? Nothing better than a giant handbag.

Morning or night? Night.

Summer or winter? I hate Summer, so…. Winter.

Candy or chocolate? Chocolate. Duh.

Laundry or dishes? Laundry.

Flip-flops or tennies? Birks.

Walking or jogging? How about driving?

Hot chocolate or chocolate milk? Hot chocolate.

Water or juice? Water.

TV shows or movies? I don’t like movies. I have to be in the mood for one.

Cats or dogs? Kitty!

Diet or reg. soda? Trying to cut out both.

Cake or pie? Cake. Hello?

Mountains or beach? Ugh. Neither.

Pink or blue? Pink.

Drama or comedy? Comedy.

Hamburger or hot dog? Pregnancy dog! That would be a hot dog with grape jelly. Shut up! It’s delicious!

McDonald’s or Wendy’s? Wendy’s.

Football or baseball? Baseball.

Epidural or natural? Epidural. Even though it was patchy and wore off after about ten minutes. Yay me!

Care bears or my little ponies? Ponies.

CD or radio? iPod.

Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty? Sleeping Beauty. Those dwarves kind of freaked me out.

I don’t know who to tag….  So… how about Drea, because I like her blog.